A daughter's tribute (Sue's Eulogy)
It's been almost 9 months since my father passed away... After his funeral I had a few people ask to read his Eulogy... Here is a copy:
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here. It is such a healing gift to be surrounded by your love and respect for my father. I've worked on this Eulogy all week... to be honest I started planning for it weeks ago.... I wanted it to be perfect. It was easy to write because I have so many fond memories of my dad... and because he was such an amazing person... but each day during this last week I would re-read it and it never seemed good enough.... It never will be... he deserves perfection.
Everyone here knows how much my father loved life... he truly was grateful for each and every day. He was diagnosed with ALS on January 17... yes that is less than 2 months ago. I never knew what ALS was... I soon realized that it was the disease without hope... the disease that would take him away from us. We believe a lot of the early signs were missed... or he just did a really good job hiding them from us. I fought really hard to find out what was wrong with my dad... I eventually got to the point where I took him to the doctor and told them "I don't need you to tell me if something is wrong with him... I need you to point me in the right direction to find out what is wrong with him"..... The following week we were at Dent Neurological institute... Toby and I went to all the appointments together.. But there was one(during a snow storm) that I took him to alone... It was the EMG appointment. He laid there on the table getting electrical shots put into each and every nerve. The test should have lasted 20 minutes... His took nearly 2 hours. I held his hand the whole time and asked him if it hurt (knowing it did!)... He reassured me that it didn't... He didn't want his little girl to know how much pain he was in. At the next appointment the doctor told us that he had ALS... my father didn't say a word... Toby and I cried... he didn't shed a tear. On the drive home he grabbed my hand and told me that everything was going to be ok and that he didn't have ALS.. that it was a mistake... because people die from that... and he wasn't going anywhere. He never complained... not ONCE.... As he lost the ability to swallow... then walk... and then eventually talk... he never complained... never asked "Why me". He was by far the most positive and optimistic person I had ever met.
He loved my mom more than anything in this world... I can't even tell you how many times he told me that she was the best thing that ever happened to him. Don't get me wrong... they drove each other crazy sometimes but they ALWAYS stuck together... they really were the best of friends. He was the total package. My father was an entrepreneur and was always pouring his heart into making the world a better place... but he had this amazing balance of work and family. He worked a long day and as long as he got his 30 minute snooze on the couch (with no shirt on of course).. he would cook dinner, do the grocery shopping, take us kids outside to play.... Don't get me wrong.. my mom was an amazing stay at home mom BUT she hit the jackpot with him too! Not only did he bring home the bacon... but he helped cook it too! They really were perfect for each other. Toby was his pride and joy. Watching those two bond over the last few months was priceless. Toby literally gave up everything on January 17th and was there each and every day for my dad. Toby- Always know how happy you made him... and how amazing your time with him these last few months were. He is so proud of you and I know that you are going to do an amazing job filling his shoes.
He was my daddy... and I was a total daddy's girl. I have always been a complete sucker for my dad... he melted my heart. If you ask my brothers, they will tell you that I had him completely wrapped around my little finger... and well I can't argue that.. It's true.. he really thought I hung the moon! He traveled the world and never showed up at the home without a beautiful doll or a new"princess gown" for me...At an early age he nicknamed me "Queen Bee"... He answered every call I made to him with "Hi Queen Bee"... in his phone my contact says QB.... As I grew older he taught me how to be tough and stand up for myself... He had to... because I had three older brothers... He taught me how to throw a ball NOT like a girl...how to choke up on the bat and wait for my pitch.... He was the only one who had the nerve to catch for me when I spent hours perfecting my fastpitch. He helped coach my softball teams... he never missed a game. He was my biggest fan... not only in my 14 years of Softball but in life.
Im a lot like my dad.... Actually I can recall my mom telling me "you are just like your father"... in my teens when my mom and I were arguing! She would tell you that I had his persistence... I NEVER gave up and I RARELY lost an argument. My father taught me that if you are wrong... never be afraid to apologize.. but if you believe in something then you fight... you fight hard and you never back down! Andrew would tell you that I have my father's kind heart... and his stubborness. I vividly remember Toby and my dad telling Andrew when he proposed that "you have no idea what you are getting yourself into!"... they had watched me grow up... The guys in our house would flee home when I was in my teens and my mom and I argued.... They knew to leave and come back a couple hours later.... Toby would tell you that I got my father's wisdom and his values... My father would give the shirt off his back to anyone. Those I work with, especially Brian... would tell you that I got his business smarts... and his love of people... and the ability to connect and build relationships.... There is no doubt that my father has made me who I am today.
I'm sure that there were moments that I nearly gave him a heart attach.... Actually I am quite positive. There was that time that I totaled a brand new ford focus that he brought home for a test drive over the weekend.... Ok to be honest I totaled it while he was at the dealership signing for it... I called him crying... trying to explain that I thought the two way stop was really a 4 way stop... he put the pen down, drove to me and I listed to him ask me 200 times how I could possibly make that mistake... Then he handed me the keys to the mini van! There's more... There was the time I decided to move Jen's BMW which was stick shift.... I had no clue how to drive a stick shift and why in the world were there 3 peddles?!!??!! I missed the garage door by a hair when my mom came running to the rescue and launched herself in the car to hit the break! Then there was the time that a police officer followed me home and right into the driveway.... I was speeding and he didn't think that my excuse was good enough... My dad got me out of that ticket.... And then I had to listen to him tell me atleast 200 times why It was so dangerous to speed... he rarely yelled... rarely punished... he just repeated himself over and over and over.

I made my dad a few promises just days before he passed. I promised him that I would always take care of my mom... I reassured him that he didn't have to worry... that I would make sure she had an amazing life..... He asked me to make sure that Toby was always ok... he told me that Toby comes off as strong but that even he has moments of weakness... I promised him that we would always stay a strong, loving family.
I'm thankful that my two boys had the joy of having him in their lives. I look at Talon and I see him... I'm thankful that when I look at Talon I see my dad... he was so proud of all of his grandkids but always said that Talon was his "mini me"... I am confident that Talon is such an amazing boy with so much kindness in his heart because of my dad... I am thankful that he had all of you in his life. He loved people... and he is looking down today and smiling at us all.
We can all rest assured that we have the worlds greatest guardian ang

by Sue Engasser on Fri, Dec 05, 2014 @ 6:58 PM

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